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No one fucking knows anything about my life. There is NOBODY I can talk to. They are either patronising or childish about it or…think I’m making it up!? WTF who does that :l

Feeling like complete and utter shit.

:l

So fucking pissed off ATM. Certain ‘people’ who have not a fucking clue what they are talking about. I think they think it makes them look cool or they think it’s some wacky characteristic to parade around but YOU’RE fucking stupid. You have NO idea like seriously so shut the fuck up.

I am not even in one of those moods when i WANT to do it, i just want the taste the bitter metallic taste to fill my mouth and caress my lips. I don’t think i will bring myself to do it tonight but i keep on wndering and thinking, wow i wish i could talk to someone about this but it is hard enough putting on an act constantly so you do not get judged.

I remember last summer me and my fried (ex) were in pinner park with a lot of the others. Together we conjured up a plan to start a ‘cult’ so to speak, we each cut ourselves and tasted eachothers blood, and viewed my unsuspecting friends for ‘followers’ when anyone came close we would take a rigid position and stare them down. I liked that feeling it made me feel powerful.

I honestly can not think of one person right now who i could talk too and they would understand, how sad.

I miss my best friend

So my best friend moved to Porstmouth at the end of Summer, and i doubt he even considers me one of his close friends anymore. The feeling you get when you are speaking on facebook chat and they just don’t answer is horrible, so empty. The thing is i can’t even be mad at him because he is so lovely and kind and he is one of those people you just can’t get annoyed with. Feeling extreme jealousy levels, he seems happy there + has loads of new friends and seems to be going to parties every weekend. I just hate how the ones you love move on.

The Beginning..

Finally somewhere i can just write. I dont really know how this works but i am not to bothered about ‘following’ or people ‘following’ me i just need somewhere to let out what im feeling.

Is it weird that i keep on imagining with some sort of sick interest what i would do to people in my year. God i don’t know why i have a burning hate, so many people all the time and it just doesn’t feel right. I dont belong here. Today we were learning about abnormality in psychology, that brought back some painful memories…

Ive just started doing an old habit again. Is it wrong i find the markings beautiful and the taste so sweet? I can’t even talk to anyone about this, but i need too, someone who is like me.

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